Everybody loves candy; yeah, what a fucking cliché, but seriously everybody loves Candi. What or who is Candi? Every job, school, or office has a Candi; a gal that on the outside appears sugary sweet, very tasty to the eye, hence the cliché “eye candy”. Seriously every office has a corporate whore who will do whatever or whomever it takes to get ahead (or give it).
Everyone has a sweet tooth for Candi; we always need to taste what we want, and then we want to eat the whole box. On the outside Candi is all sweet and shiny, absolutely delicious to look at, but be warned like Zots or Tootsie Pops, sometimes once you reach the middle of the savory-sweet, you never know what’s inside as you lick your way to the center.
I think it’s fair to say candy has its pros and cons. For example, it is usually very appealing to the eye, sweet and sticky, but we all know that eating candy will give us a short sugar buzz which will be outweighed by its long-term bad teeth, and sugary weight gain, and ironically heart disease. So eating Candi is not a very long term strategy for healthy living.
Life is like a box of chocolate candy you never know twats what’s inside until it’s too late. Two of the seven deadly sins were written about candy, Lust of Candi and Gluttony of Candi. By the time you come down from the sugar-induced high, Candi will have already gotten the best of you.
The Candi packaging can be so enticing that sometimes you feel the urge for a quick taste. Let’s be honest once you have the candy in your hands, the first thing you do is rip off the rapper, throw it away, and dive right into the main event. Why not, life is short, it is impossible not to. Like most things in life, riding a moped, eating candy, driving a fast car with top day on a summer day, all of these are great until your friends find out. Sometimes, they expect you to share, and that takes away from the whole experience. Some things are just not meant for sharing.
A few times in life you will find a foreign candy that totally rocks your boat. This Candi is so different and unique in the way it speaks to you that you must try it. Even though it is made from ingredients you’ve never heard of, you are so sucked in by its tractor beam that you consume the whole thing in one sitting, sometimes sorry the day after, sleeping it off, you realize that wasn’t your best choice.
Every year, both as children and adults, we celebrate a day of recklessly gorging on Candi. On Halloween, we partake in the pagan ritual of modern-day cosplay, approaching complete strangers and reciting ” trick-or-treat ” in hopes of a handout. As children and adults, our needs and desires regarding that open invitation vary. I always prefer a trick, but treats can be good, too.
Moral of the story: If it looks too good to be true, it most likely is no good for you, choose your vices carefully. Be sure to visit your dentist or doctor after your Candi indulgence, you never know what long-term damage it has caused.