Ms. Peacock in the Library with the Candlestick
When I first arrived at the library, I realized it had been numerous years since walking the Wal-Mart warehouse stacked aisles of literature and writings. Secondly, my library card from 15 years ago was most likely no longer valid. After proving my identity with 3 forms of ID, and convincing the Mrs. Gradenko like character behind the counter of my general honest intentions … and abilities to responsibly return materials within 14 days … I was issued a shiny new library card … yippee!
So with my new laminated card, I started wandering row after row of shelves … breathing that pungent library aroma of musty old paper mixed with gallons of binding glue that makes for the ambiance of any library. Never really having a firm grasp of the whole Dewey Decimal system they’ve got going on there for classifying books … I am pretty much on my own just sort of wandering.
Suddenly out of nowhere a beautiful angel appears before me … as if to guide me on my way … she inquires “Can I help you at all?” … as I stumble through the index cards of my brain trying to piece together a structured answer … I can’t help but thoroughly give the vixen the once over. Perhaps gazing as I gasped for words … examining every morsel of tastiness from the top-down, long jet-black hair tightly tied back in a ponytail with a white ribbon … petite heart-shaped faced accented with narrow wire-rimmed Fendi glasses bringing out beautiful hazel eyes.
“Yes,” I reply “I’m trying to find the motivational and self-help section” … she humorously giggles her response “Aren’t we all … but heck follow me I’ll show you what we’ve got”. As she pivots towards the intended destination I’m in awe of her puffy blouse which seems to conceal something … and tucked into her silted skirt which reaches just above the knee … and very plain black Mary Jane style shoes with a large pilgrim like buckles … and upon the second glance in disbelief indeed she is wearing fishnet stockings. Damn … I gotta visit libraries more often.
As we arrive at the shelves of books dedicated to my topic of choice … she says “Well here we are … 12 shelves to choose from good luck … my name is Daphne, feel free to call me if you have any other questions”. I reply in return “Thank you, Daphne, thank you very much” … and off she goes.
Here I am, I thought … what the fuck now, there are like a million books on the topic. So I bunker down with a comfortable stool … flipping through shelf after shelf, thumbing through some books … basically just getting really frustrated. After another couple of hours of my life, I will never get back … I started to second guess my whole self-improvement plan … I was just getting very discouraged.
Suddenly my library angel Daphne reappeared … “find anything that inspires you” she says. “Not really … nothing but more dead ends and disappointment” I reply. She quips “We have another section of the library which may give you the motivation you are looking for” … “it’s in the other wing closed for repair right now … but if you trust me to take you there I think it may have what you’re looking for” … “interested?” I gloomily answer “sure what the hell nothing here of interest … I trust your judgment”.
Lightheartedly she states “Ok let’s go then … follow me” … without hesitation, I tag along like a lemming to the icy arctic cliffs … thinking it’s kind of odd that a whole wing of research materials is closed off during renovations. “Hold my hand,” she says “the scaffolding is a bit uneven” … as she firmly grips my hand through the dimly lit corridor. Up ahead a door starts to become visible … it looks like an 18th-century door from a castle adorned with tarnished brass hinges and fixtures.
As we pass through the door it’s very hard to make out the shapes in the shadows … then suddenly my little vixen angel librarian goes from a tight grip to twisting my arm into the spine of my back … almost like a move from WWE wrestling divas. Within seconds I hear what sounds like iron metal … oops yes, it was … in one quick motion from hand-holding … then to the back of my spine, into some sort of chain shackle. Before I could catch my breath and bearings I was being hoisted by the shackles and some chains via pulleys into a metal cage a few feet from the ground … suddenly I hear a metal door slam shut on the contraption … holy shit I’m a caged animal … and still can’t quite see through the dimly lit room … and have no fucking idea what’s going on … this doesn’t seem to be how I remember the library.
A few moments pass … although they seem eternal … the room begins to brighten from the candles being illuminated around the circumference of the room. I see my angel, Daphne … although now she’s dressed a little more devilish. A leather corset …which must have been the bulge in the blouse … thigh-high black leather boots, and the white ribbon has been removed from her hair allowing it to flow freely. More interestingly is the décor of the room … then it hits me … holy shit this is Daphne’s dungeon.
As she approaches the metal cage she exclaims “I’m going to make you forget all about that bitch … and all other bitches from your past … now you’re going to be my bitch!” … “But first you’re going to have to watch my self-help therapy” As these simple directives sink into my brain’s central processing unit … I start to look around the room and notice all the contraptions of Daphne’s dungeon of delight … some of them I recognize and start to get a little excited about them, other contraptions either scare me or confuse me as I am not quite sure what they are … or are used for.